James Asks Too Much
by Be My Master
Summary: James is asking all sorts of questions of Remus and Sirius, getting them a bit wound up. There is some vulgar words. R&R please. SiriusxRemus, don't like, don't read.


*PoV James*

We were all sat outside under the big willow tree near the lake. Sirius and Peter were playing exploding snap and I was catching up on some boring homework I'd missed. Remus was still in the hospital wing being checked over, but he'd be out in a bit. I sighed, putting my book to one side, and got up to stretch. My shirt rode up a bit, showing off my stomach, and a passing group of second years giggled. I smiled and put my arms down, then lied down next to Peter.

"Hey, Padfoot," I said.

"Yeah?" he asked, flopping down next to me, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Have you ever thought that Moony might be a poofter?" I asked.

"Well," Sirius said, going bright red in the face. "Maybe?"

I rolled over onto my stomach and looked him dead in the face. "Come on. When has he ever shown any interest in a _girl_? As in fancying a girl, because he has many female friends."

"He spends a lot of time with Evans. Maybe that's why she dun't fancy you."

"She fancies me. Why would anyone choose him over me? I'm strong, I'm quick and I'm on the quidditch team."

Sirius mumbled something I couldn't hear. "Yeah," he said after, "but Remus is well smart. He's got brains, and he has a slight build. He'd be good at quidditch if he wun't sick all the time."

I smiled. "Yeah, but he's covered in scars. Who in the world would want to date that?"

"Lily said that she'd rather date Remus, scars and all, than date you, James," Peter said.

I looked at him sidelong.

"You know, sometimes I think you've got asperger's or something. You always say what's on your mind," Sirius said. "Not that there'd be anything wrong if you did."

"Yeah, well, back to my question," I said. "Why would Evans want to date Remus when she can have me?"

"Maybe because he listens to her or because he doesn't gloat about every little thing. He's a great friend and he'd make a great boyfriend," Sirius said.

"Oh, listen to you, singing his praises. Perhaps I should just let you two get back to snogging behind my back." I only meant it as a joke, but Sirius went white faced. "Y'all right, Pads?"

"What? Yeah. Just an upset stomach."

"Hey, boys," we heard from behind us. Turning, we saw Remus smiling at us and making his way over.

"Hey, just the person I wanted to talk to," I said. "Padfoot's been telling us some right mint stuff, in't he, Peter?"

"Yeah," Peter said. "About snogging in empty class rooms and the Room of Requirement. And how to get a girl to take off her knickers."

"Oh, well, I'm sure that Sirius is a bit of an expert," Remus said with a smile.

"So, how many girls have you fucked, 'ey, Remus?" I asked.

Remus spat his pumpkin juice back into his glass. I had brought it outside because it was a warm, sunny day. He coughed a bit, and then wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "I haven't, actually. I've never had a girlfriend."

"You're still a virgin?" I asked. "I thought it of Peter, but not you."

"Hey!" Peter said. "I am not a virgin!"

"Yeah, whatever. You're sixteen, Remus; you should have already lost the V-card."

"I like to think that my virginity isn't something to be thrown away, thank you very much." Remus leaned back against a tree. "And to tell the truth, I think that most of the girls in our year are thoughtless tramps who don't give a damn if they get pregnant."

"Oiy!" I yelled. "You saying somefin' bad about Lily?"

"I said most of the girls, not all of them!" Remus shot back. "Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Well, you must at least think some of 'em are pretty." Peter had hit the nail on the head with that one.

"Sure, they're pretty, and sure, they have nice… hair, but they're tramps. Sluts, the lot of them."

"So, you don't fancy girls, then?" I asked.

"I most certainly do not!" It took Remus a moment to think about what he'd said. "No, no, that's not what I meant!"

"Oh, but you said," I said. "Moony's a poofter, Moony's a poofter, la la la la."

"Oh, would you shut up?" Sirius said.

"Are you his boyfriend or somefin?" I said. "Padfoot and Moony, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g." Peter laughed along with me.

"And what is it to you if he is?" Remus asked.

I sat up straight and looked at him dead in the eye. "You what? Are you actually saying that you two… are… you're…"

"No," Remus said. "But if he was."

"I… I don't know. You're my friends, and I wouldn't let something like that get in the way of that." I looked at him closer. "What are you saying?"

"I like blokes. You got me, I just didn't think it was important," Remus said. "I've never had a girlfriend, but I've also never had a boyfriend. But I never said that I was still a virgin."

"You're not?" I asked.

"It was a one night stand thing," Remus said, shrugging. "I don't mind. I just wanted to make sure I was gay and things got a bit out of hand." Remus drew his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "He dun't fancy me anyway."

"I'm sure he does," Peter said, blushing. "I mean, you're a nice guy. Who wouldn't-"

"Peter, shut up," Remus said softly, smiling. "Just stop trying to help, you're only digging your hole deeper."

"Sorry," Peter said, smiling.

"I don't even fancy him. He was a right pig, and a Slytherin to boot."

"You what?" Peter and Remus kept talking, but I drowned them out.

I looked at Sirius, who'd been quiet since Remus had got here. He was looking down at the ground, twiddling a blade of grass between his fingers. He rubbed his eye and sniffed, as if he'd been crying. "You all right, mate?" I asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I'm all right."

Remus leaned over to put a hand on his shoulder, while saying, "You sure, Padfoot?"

Sirius brushed off Remus's hand and stood up, exclaiming, "Get your hand off me, you poofter!"

Remus recoiled as if he had been struck.

Sirius looked at him, tears rimming his eyes. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I just…" He took off towards the school.

"Sirius!" Remus shouted.

"Come on," I said, getting up. We all took off after him.

We looked for ages, and I thought we'd never find him. I wasn't smart enough to take to map outside with us, so we couldn't use it. I turned a corner to see Remus and Sirius hugging. I smiled and was about to walk up to them when Sirius started talking.

"I'm so sorry," he said. He'd been crying. "I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just couldn't think of anything to say. I'm not like that, I promise."

"Sirius, I know. I know you're not like that."

"It's just you started going on about how you like blokes and it was a bit of a shock. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

"Shh. Calm down."

"That night you got back really late, and you were really tired, that was the night, wun't it?"

"Yeah. Listen, Padfoot, if it freaks you out, I won't talk about guys or anything like that with you, or near you. I promise."

"You had a bruise on your cheek and scratches around your wrists. You didn't want to have-"

"Sirius, stop."

"You didn't want to have sex with him."

Remus stepped away from Sirius and crossed his arms, hugging himself. "No, I didn't, alright? But I said what I meant before. It's nothing."

"No, it's not, Remus. He-"

"I know what he did! Okay? He abused my trust, he hit me, he hurt me, and he raped me! I don't care anymore, okay! I just know that it doesn't change who I am. I like blokes and that fact won't change because of a stupid Slytherin! Why do you care, anyway?"

"Because I wanted you to know that I'd never treat you like that."

There was a silence. Wait… What? Did Sirius just… what?

Sirius was still crying, and Remus had his hand over his mouth.

"Remus," Sirius said, putting his hands on Remus's arms. "I love you. I have since third year. I've been meaning to tell you, and when you told me you were gay I thought that maybe we could be something, because I thought you knew, that you could tell that I was, too!"

Remus moved forward and wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck again. "Sirius."

"Please, I just wanted you to know, I thought that something could happen between us. I thought that we could be together."

Remus moved back enough to place his hands on the side's of Sirius's face. "Just shut up and kiss me, will you?"

And that's what he did. Sirius kissed Remus. Well. I never thought I'd see that. Though, thinking back. Sirius had been very fond of Remus, always looking out for him, never being afraid to put his arm around him. I watched from my hiding place behind the wall as Sirius pulled Remus closer.

It was kind of nice, to see them both so happy.


End file.
